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Discovering Layers of Unbelief : A Journey to Freedom from Porn

Writer's picture: Samuel BoppuriSamuel Boppuri

Updated: Jan 31




If you have noticed or not, things that surround us preach to us and appeal to our souls. For example, the billboard on the highway that says, ‘ Life is short, so take divorce’ is communicating a message that life is too boring and short to spend with one person. You turn on your television, you see scenes of war in the middle east. Your immediate reflux is ‘why is this world has become a dangerous place?.’  You go to school, your teacher talks about ‘gender fluidity’ with a plethora of citations. And, on a Sunday morning, your pastor preaches ‘Repent and Believe in Jesus’. You feel like you’re bombarded with messages from all corners - all trying to grab your attention. In all these circumstances, someone or something is preaching to you. All this while, your mind is processing all the information. This happens both consciously and subconsciously. If you’re a Christian, it is through the biblical worldview, you begin to process the information - taking in that which is consistent with our worldview and leaving aside the rest. Simply put, we believe what the Bible informs us to be correct and reject the rest.


But for many, especially who struggle with pornography, their testing apparatus misfires.

The foundation on which their mind filters through what is believable and what is not becomes shaky. Because of constant feeding on Porn, the God-given mechanism that tests and validates what is true and false becomes almost dysfunctional.


To use an example, no one eats dirt. Why? It is inedible. It destroys our digestive system.  It is a fact. It is validated both subjectively and objectively - both experientially and didactically. But what happens when a man eats dirt believing that it is indispensable to his life? Surely his belief system must have been severely disrupted! Let me tweak this a little bit. How about if this ‘dirt’ tastes sweet? Does it do any good to him? No! It makes the situation even worse.


Similarly, the mind of a person who is addicted to porn, instead of eliminating falsehood, embraces it, desires it, and relishes in it. Unfortunately, he imbibes what he sees but does not know that it is destroying him. The power struggle between pleasure and guilt makes him oblivious to the internal destruction within his soul. It is impossible for him to self-diagnose the problem, let alone find the cure.


The level of complexity porn addiction presents itself is deeply disturbing. At one level, the addict may find all the swarming voices of temptation, guilt and shame come from within. Therefore, it could be incredibly difficult to decipher what is going on.

At another level, porn addiction is a  battle between belief and unbelief. It is a struggle between two real experiences. It is like a man being chased after by two powerful individuals - a seductress on the one hand and a boxer on the other. It is a tussle between pleasure on the one hand and guilt and shame on the other. One mesmerizes you with a seductive kiss, the other will hit you in the gut. Do you now understand the internal turmoil a little bit?


Though a bad one, watching porn produces a unique experience. Because all mental and spiritual faculties are involved in deriving such pleasure, it would be difficult to observe and analyze the negative consequences in the act itself. The desire to watch porn is driven by a compelling belief that it will be wonderful, yet when ejaculation happens, it is inevitably followed by immense guilt, shame, and sadness. This is an inescapable cycle a porn addict places himself within. As the tides of porn engulf him, with every ticking second, his chance of overcoming porn becomes slimmer and harder. On the altar of porn, he blindly goes everyday to pay homage only to return with a scar on his heart.


So much for the struggle, is there a hope for a porn addict? The answer to this question is a resounding yes. There is a hope for those who struggle in Jesus Christ. I want to explore how we can help porn strugglers to identify false voices come from within and without in my next article. At the very least,  as you read this, it is my prayer that you would have some compassion towards those who struggle with this addiction. Would you pray for him and reach out to him and tell him that at the centre of Jesus heart - there is an endless fountain that washes our sins away? Just take one step at a time - Let us now go to Jesus who receives sinners and suffers unconditionally.








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