top of page
Search

A Letter to a Sister Who Suffers from Anorexia

Writer's picture: Samuel BoppuriSamuel Boppuri

Updated: Mar 22, 2024

a man with brown hands holding a pen and writing a letter

Note: Elena Dunkle suffers from Anorexia. Apart from many reasons, in her case, anorexia was a result of sexual abuse and the personal tragedy of a stillbirth. To know the full story, read 'Elena Vanishing' (Published by 'Chronicle Books', San Fransisco).


Dear Elena,


I read your story. It moved me to the core. I couldn’t stop writing this letter to you. It is my prayer that my letter would be of some comfort and encouragement, in the face of unbelievable pain and suffering.


If I understand your story correctly it is full of confusion, fear, shame, heartache, and pain. Understanding my limitation of not being able to relate to the pain you suffered, as much as I can, I want to tell you that I thought about you deeply. As I read your story, my heart went out to you. At times, I wept for you.


Reading from your story, I understand that you had beautiful experiences as a child until that horrific thing happened to you. I wish I was there to protect you. I just wish all that had happened was a nagging nightmare. But the reality of the memory would make you suffocate. Would you agree that it had ripple effects both on your soul and body? You must have felt like you were imprisoned in your weaknesses. The more you tried to get better, the more you felt like you were being drowned in the mud. The more you tried to erase the memory, the more you felt like it was gripping your throat. You must have felt like life is meaningless and cruel. I don’t know if you have ever prayed to God. But if you did, you must have felt like he would not listen to you, or he doesn’t care, or maybe he is not there. You must have thought God must be a distant figure who is unconcerned about your pain, suffering, and existence.



Let me tell you when I read that you lost your baby, it broke my heart. I wish it did not happen. How I would have loved to see you enjoying holding your baby and kissing her. It's a dream come true but it vanished, leaving a heart-wrenching scar ever reminding you of the pain and the past. It must have felt like God gave you a little hope to hold onto but he took it away just like that. You might have wondered if there is a loving God, why would he do that? Amid that deep loss, you also felt shame as well. Have you ever thought about why you felt the way you did? You were not just sad but you felt guilty and shame as well. You have an incredible amount of shame after you lost your baby. I want to ask you gently, if I may, why? Why did you ever feel like that? From what I see hearing your story, you experienced a tremendous amount of pain, shame, and suffering. Can I say a very important thing that would help you understand why you felt the way you did?


Have you ever thought guilt and shame are universal attributes of human beings? People say that we feel the way we do because it is a social construct. Psychologists, anthropologists, and sociologists have a bunch of reasons to tell us why we feel guilty and shame in life. You know what Elena! none of them are true. I believe the Bible, the ancient book of the Jews and Christians, gives you the most sophisticated, intelligent, and plausible explanation of guilt and shame. Read it for yourself. I believe in comparison to the Bible’s explanation of sin and suffering; all the rest of the explanations pale into insignificance.


In the book of Genesis, after God made Adam and Eve, he put them in the garden and told them to enjoy all that he created; the trees, birds, and animals. But he told them not to eat the fruit of one particular tree. He told them if they did, they would die. But Adam and Eve, being convinced of the devil (the serpent), listened to him rather than God. The serpent twisted the words of God and deceived them. He portrayed God as a hard taskmaster who would not want his children to be happy (how many times do we feel like that?). The devil told them a lie that if they ate the fruit, they would not die. Again, he portrayed God as a liar. Adam and Eve, having reasoned in their minds, decided to follow the devil, and reject God, their Father. When they ate the fruit, they realized that they were naked and wanted to cover themselves with fig leaves. And, they tried to run away from the Lord trying to hide their shame.


Did you know why Adam and Eve felt they were ashamed? It is not that they suddenly realized that they were naked and wanted to put on some clothes. They were naked before they broke God’s law as well. They felt ashamed because they realized that they had done something wrong. They broke God's commandment. And, then they tried to run away from the Lord. They were ashamed to show their face to their Father. They were now both guilty and ashamed. Guilt is a corroborating feeling of your conscience that what you have done is wrong and shame is a consequence of guilt which results in a feeling that echoes in your heart that I am wrong. And, you feel like saying, "I am bad; I am horrible, I loathe myself."


When God found Adam and Eve, you can almost imagine the couple bowing their faces down in shame. The tattered fig leaves could hardly hide their shame. They knew they crossed the boundary and deserved to be punished. This is where God does something totally inconceivable. Instead of punishing them, he covers them with the skin of animals. Here is a profound lesson to be learned. All of us have crossed the boundaries that God gave us. All of us deserve to be punished. But if we come to God, instead of running away from him, he removes our guilt and covers our shame.


To save the lost humanity, two thousand years ago, God sent his Son. Jesus Christ, the Son of God entered into this world; shattered by pain, suffering, and curse. He came to give hope to the hopeless and help the helpless. When the Roman soldiers crucified him, they removed his clothes. They inflicted shame upon him. He bore our shame. God punished him instead of punishing us. He became our substitute and died in our place. He rose on the third day. He is alive! If you come to him and ask him for forgiveness, he will cover your shame. No matter what we do, we cannot remove our guilt and shame. We cannot remove the deeply entrenched stains of our wrongdoings and shame. Only Christ can give you true freedom. Come to him, sister! Come to him! If you believe in him, He will make you his daughter. He would carry your tears. He will give rest to your soul and peace to your heart. He would walk with you no matter what and take you to be with him forever. Would you come to him?


Your Friend,

Samuel Boppuri.

42 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


COntact us

Thanks for submitting!

Copyright © 2025 Alabaster Soul Care. All Rights Reserved.

Designed by Lion Culture Media

bottom of page